南轅北轍—CelloEric06的最愛

Eric's E-mail

    I just read about Sherlock getting out of jail. He knows that the police who controls his cell will take a small nap at midnight. When he looks at the moon, he knows it's four o'clock. He uses his porridge key to escape. After he runs, many polices chase him, but Malefactor wants to help Sherlock Holmes. (Yes! Exactly.)
    This reminds me of another story about escaping from jail. A young man lives in jail with another old man, but that old man is almost dying. After some days, that old man just lie on the ground, and couldn't say anything. The turnkey put him into the bag,and after some days, threw it into the sea behind the jail. The young man thought this was a great opportunity to escape from the jail, so he buried the corpse underground, and stayed in the bag. After some time, he felt the cold water, and he used his whole strength to damage the bag. When he saw the jail, he knew he had escaped successfully. (Wow! Sounds like a movie...)

    What I think will happen next is Sherlock Holmes will go to the place where the murder happened, and find out who the murderer is. Then he'll go back      home, and discuss with his father about it. After that, he'll find some evidences to prove that Mohammad didn't commit the crime, and then he'll help him get out of jail. (I think you're absolutely correct!) 

Teacher's  E-mail

Hi Eric,

    Thanks for remembering to do your homework! It's always best to e-mail me after class so that you won't forget what happens in the story, huh?   Your sentences are good, however I did find some grammar mistakes.  Please take a look at your corrections in yellow.  I hope this helps you become a great writer.  You will see my comments in red. Also, I noticed that you added some more sentences to each paragraph - FANTASTIC! ^_^b See you in class tomorrow!